I am a domestic violence survivor. Even as an engineering graduate, I was not allowed to work outside the confines of the house. Irrespective, I took pride in looking after my children and looked after my family as best as I could. As a wife, daughter-in-law, and mother, I feel I have done well. Our two intelligent citizens of the country stand testimony to this. Unfortunately, though, at this stage in my life, I am left wanting to know my worth as a homemaker. Tortured and abandoned by the same family, domestic violence has become the reality of my life.

My name is Archana Mittal (maiden Sharma) aged 59 years (Turning 60 this year). As a Chemical Engineer, I have an MBA in Development Management. I have been a national scholarship holder and a District Topper who is now seeking her worth as a homemaker.

We have come a long way since the Violence Against Women Act was passed in 1994. It is important to recognize that domestic violence impacts millions of people, and it’s not only women who are victims; men suffer domestic violence as well.

Seeking legal recourse after domestic abuse, My experience with the police and courts exposed me to torture on another level. From exorbitant lawyer fees to delays in police complaint registration and subsequent delayed court dates. I continue to experience a multiplicity of litigation as filed by my estranged husband to break me with his might in the corporate world and the monetary success that I had silently helped him accrue as his homemaker wife. It’s been over six years that I am waiting for a date in the court that gets me my due as a 59-year-old homemaker. Despite all the evidence, I am suffering on all accounts. At this age I do not want a divorce, all I want is to lead a dignified life as supported by my constitution, and protected by the laws of our country.

Here are a few suggestions to affect a policy change such that the laws are actually impactful to those who suffer and not just become a tool for manipulation for a few.

These are arrived at after diligent research through journals, as well as speaking with survivors and other stakeholders.

· Do you know there is NO data available on domestic abuse offenders? Incorporating or creating a national register for domestic abuse offenders is of prime importance

· Addressing domestic abuse as an issue with the public health system

· Give a mandate to public distribution systems (milk booths, ration shops), places of worship, medical shops, and Kirana stores to have trigger buttons where women can register their domestic abuse call to authorities. All these centres/places have helpline numbers of NGOs working on Domestic violence. Sensitization to be done for these places

· Making help more accessible to victims in a seamless manner

· Creating a special task force by integrating offices from the Ministry of Health and Family welfare

· Training domestic abuse health counsellors (special counsellors)

· Special tribunals in courts for fast-tracking domestic abuse cases

· Gender-neutral laws (men and women both can be offenders)

· Creating awareness about domestic violence from the school level (inclusive of boys and girls)

· Introducing a subject on finance and law to understand the basics at the school secondary level (since most women are not involved in these at home they tend to suffer not knowing even the basics)

· Along with the registration of marriages, handing booklet of domestic violence laws to the couple

· Acknowledging the role of Homemakers in GDP growth. Some percentage of the earning member’s salary can be kept in an escrow account or GOI can collect as a cess tax (deducted from salary), and grant an adequate amount as maintenance, as prescribed by the supreme court, so the long-drawn-out fight lessens the burden on courts as well as resulting in giving dignity of women in society for being homemaker.

· After the amendment of laws, a review should be done to see the impact. Ever since the decriminalisation of adultery, chaos has erupted in the fabric of society. As though it’s a license to become immoral and corrupt leading to more divorces and collateral damage to families and children.

Divorces affect the GDP of the country too.

Please find a recent researched base report on the reasons for domestic violence as conducted by a couple of research scholars in Tripura focusing on their state. This research on reasons for domestic violence must be done countrywide to assess the situation of women in their own homes, reasons, challenges and what needs to be done for half of the population.

With All respect

Archana Mittal

Views are personal. The author, Archana Mittal volunteers with Mission Anganwadi,(CSO), an initiative for restructuring and strengthening Anganwadis. She also works for Vriddhachi Anganwadi at Pune, creating an ecosystem for elders ( 60-95yrs) within the community to age gracefully. She further supports women in challenging situations by creating short videos spreading awareness about women’s rights. As a certified therapist, she also provides counselling to women undergoing trauma and abuse in their own homes.

The post Domestic Violence: A victims appeal appeared first on Woman Endangered.

The fervor started with Birlasoft Limited’s request to address their employees of all genders talking about ‘Womanhood: The walks of her life on March 3rd. The session was a part of their employee engagement outreach. The session saw accomplished panelists including a clinical psychologist, Puroitree Majumdar, talking about unconscious biases. Yukti Kapoor Mehndiratta, Founder SBY Academy, and Richa Singh, CEO of Yourdost spoke about breaking the glass ceiling and recognizing unique challenges faced by women respectively. The session was attended by over 70 employees of the listed company. WE spoke about the balance internally that translates to a balance outwardly. The Yin – Yan , Purush – Prakriti or Shiv-Shakti. All propound the importance of balance and equal importance to all genders and the unique strengths that complement each other to make a whole.

Scope, a social impact company based in Helsinki, Finland identified women from across the world that choose to challenge and recognized them on their blog as well as social media platforms. It was a proud moment for me to be featured with 3 other ladies from Kenya doing phenomenal work in Gender inclusion and diversity. Merci Korir is a doctor and health journalist addressing biases in the media, Carol Nag’anga’ is a cervical cancer survivor and runs an initiative for other women cancer survivors and Narima Waka works extensively in 10 countries with women and youth engagement and informing them on the importance of political participation Here is a link to the blog.

Outlook publishers reached out for a panel discussion and I was again humbled to be in the august company of some amazing women. Reena Raju is a heart transplant recipient and continues to be an athlete, now also inspiring and facilitating other transplant recipients. Alka Pande is a well-known art curator, author, and historian. Shikha Sharma is a Co-producer, who among other films has also Co-produced Shakuntala Devi and Toilet Ek prem Katha. Here is a link to the discussion that was moderated by Lachmi Debroy, asst editor Outlook.

There was also a recorded interaction with Smita Kulkarni of stonesoup.in (where WE source our menstrual cups for gifting to marginalised women – this takes care of their feminine hygiene for upto 10 years). The recordings delieated the things we choose to challenge – also the theme for this woman’s day.

And finally, WE took the opportunity to take a menstrual hygiene session enabling the enabler – working with 30 teachers of Arpana trust – imparting them information to choose to challenge a negative mindset around periods. So what did you #Choosetochallenge?

The post Women’s day 2021 appeared first on Woman Endangered.

आवर्षति आषाढ़ घनोयम

The sky is overcast with dark clouds & it has just started to rain.

छनन छनन मुक्ता मुंचति

Raindrops sound like pearls falling onto the floor

गरजति मन्द्रं काम गजोयम्

As the Thunder roars deeply, it begins to stir up romance both in nature & human hearts.

सरस सलीला नदी नदीशा:

The Rivers & the sea seem like they are engaged in play. तरवो मत्ता वायु विधूता: Trees are swaying care free in the cool breeze

किसलयकुसुमैर्लता: सुरूपा:

Even the buds & blossoms on the trees have joined in this glorious, intoxicating dance

नयनानंदकरो लोकोयम्

The entire world looks special & pleasing & beautiful.

मदनो निशितं शरं निधते

The God of Love has started shooting arrows

शान्ते स्वान्ते समरं कुरुते

And is causing restlessness in human hearts

मानं जित्वा स्नेहं दयते

Even quarrelling lovers are

कामिजने विजिते सदयोयम्

Succumbing to Cupid’s designs, thanks to the lovely, romantic weather.

Shubhangi is a singer, composer & vocal coach based out of Mumbai. She is passionate about singing in multiple languages & playing the bass guitar.

The post The first ever original Sanskrit Pop song appeared first on Woman Endangered.

PS: While growing up I remember the pronunciation being Ramzan – it seems that the arabic influence has made it #Ramadan . The influence also gets reflected in the attire and greetings. For example ‘Khuda hafiz’ has turned to ‘Allah hafiz’ (as I was also apprised of on my trip to Pakistan) Irrespective- here is a woman’s perspective of being born Muslim.

Btw the meal was delicious. Being a pescatarian ( Only eat sea food besides vegetarian ) I relished the ‘Sheer maal’ (sweet puffed bread) with the ‘Paneer Pasanda’ (cottage cheese prepared in tomato gravy).

नौशी ने 3 जून 2018 को हमारे हाउसिंग सोसाइटी में एक इफ्तार पार्टी की मेजबानी की, अपने सभी पड़ोसियों को पुराने डेल्ही से तैयार किए गए शानदार डिनर के लिए आमंत्रित किया। समाज के सभी सदस्यों को नौशी और उनके परिवार के साथ मनाने के लिए आमंत्रित किया गया था। यह विचार रमजान और इस्लाम के बारे में थोड़ा और जानने के लिए भी था। मैं इस अवसर पर निकाह (विवाह), तालक (तलाक) और इस्लाम में एक महिला होने के नाते अपने दृष्टिकोण को प्राप्त करने में कामयाब रही

पुनश्च: बड़े होने के दौरान मुझे याद है कि इसे रमजान कहा जाता था – लगता है कि अरबी प्रभाव ने इसे # रमजान बना दिया है। जो पोशाक और अभिवादन में भी परिलक्षित होता है। उदाहरण के लिए  खुदा हाफिज ’अल्लाह हाफिज’ बन गया है (मुझे अपनी पाकिस्तान यात्रा पर इस बदलाव से अवगत कराया गया)

Btw भोजन स्वादिष्ट था। एक पेसटेरियन होने के नाते (जो शाकाहारी होने के अलावा समुद्री भोजन खाता है) मैंने पनीर पासंदा ’(टमाटर की ग्रेवी में तैयार पनीर) के साथ al शीर माल’ (मीठी पफ वाली ब्रेड) का स्वाद चखा।

The post Ramadan & Islam- a woman’s perspective रमजान और इस्लाम- एक महिला का दृष्टिकोण appeared first on Woman Endangered.

Freelance Film Maker, Researcher and Trainer with 15 years industry experience

As I sit reviewing some footage of a documentary film I’m working on, my mind wanders to the winter of 2011, when I first interfaced with chikankari, a Lucknowi hand-embroidery which is subtle and delicate, creating beautiful embossed patterns on fabric.  I was covering a workshop that discussed the consequences of this craft acquiring the Geographical Indicator tag under Intellectual Property Rights.  I was let in to the story of how these women artisans, who were both economically backward and illiterate, made their case to the Director General of Patents through the leadership of an NGO.  They had made a first-time train journey to represent their case at the Director General of Patents, Chennai.  It was a long and anxious wait from 2008 to 2010, but finally, their efforts and conviction paid off, when chikankari was awarded the GI tag.  Apparently, this craft had enjoyed great patronage under the Nawabs.  Afterwards it had fallen into disarray, and the condition of the artisans deteriorated.  The award of GI marks the beginning of its movement for revival and recognition.

I met the leader of this group, a 55-year old matriarch, Asma Begum.  Asma Begum is a fourth generation chikankari artisan, who had first picked up the needle when she was barely ten.  She was aware of carrying on a legacy that was first introduced to India by Mughal Empress Nur Jahan.  She still teaches her granddaughters; and that takes it to the seventh generation within one family.  Asma Begum didn’t just have a demeanour about her that she was in command.  She is also some one who has had the guts to start learning to read and write at the age of 56, enrolling in a local school.  The fact that her classmates were only as old as her grandchildren didn’t bother her.  She laughed it off when they joked that “granny” has come to be their classmate.

Asma Begum remained in the back of my memory.  Now and then, I even met her when I went to visit the NGO I was consulting for.  Being film maker, each time I met her, I wondered if it was possible to capture the story of chikankari and these amazing women as a short documentary.   Not much later I met two other women from Lucknow who had lent their own contribution to bring chikankari up to speed.  One was Shipra Anand, a fashion designer who had started experimenting by combining chikankari with other materials like jute.  They received exposure and good sales through trade fairs across the country, bringing more business to the artisans.  Shruti Singh Chauhan, a young woman then in the corporate sector, quit her job to work with the Fair Trade section of NEED that her parents had set up.  Shruti’s travels and exposure to crafts across other parts of the world lent another kind of twist and appeal to her chikankari products.  She is also bringing in a paradigm shift in the work culture by getting small groups of artisans to come to a welfare centre and work fixed hours.  This has never been done before, as it a thing that women have done at home during their free time.  However, Shruti feels that working fixed hours brings in professionalism and discipline, and improves their artistic skills, which are consistently updated.  Finding a larger customer base will just be the consequence of this.

By now, the film that I had in mind has altered shape to include the journeys of these three women, with the story of chikankari in the backdrop.  I went ahead and decided to shoot it.  I used a bit of my personal savings and crowd funded some amount for a first round of shoot.  Later, we received a seed fund from Indian National Trust for Art and Cultural Heritage for a second round.  I am left with post production, for which I’m crowd funding again.  There’s a reason I’ve decided to call this film ‘Thread of Life’, : ‘thread’ is both literal and figurative.  Literally, it is the thread used by the Lucknowi women artisans to embroider the chikankari.   Figuratively, it is this thread that has given the artisans a life of their own.

I would appreciate any contribution to this film, which can be made through this link, where you can see the trailer and details of fund requirement with multiple online payment options.

https://www.wishberry.in/campaign/thread-of-life/#/campaign-new

The post Thread of Life: Short Documentary appeared first on Woman Endangered.

I must have been 10-11 years old. I remember coming back home one day, crying my eyes out. School was particularly different that day. I had felt it the moment I woke up. While, I could feel that something is happening to me, I could not really put a finger on it. It was a white uniform day. I took the physical education class in the first half and by the time we hit the recess, I had begun to feel the cramps. And then I began to bleed.

When the students started sniggering, I realized something was wrong. I had stained my skirt and the class teacher sent me to the washroom to clean up.  My periods had started & I was quite befuddled since I had no clue of what was happening.  I was the butt of my classmate’s jokes, with someone going to the extreme of telling me, how I would now be operated upon, since this was a serious medical condition. Reaching home with swollen eyes, Ma gave me the much needed solace with a sanitary pad along with a quick lesson on how to wear it.  But she missed telling me how to deal with this new phase in my life. All of it was addressed through an all encompassing statement that pronounced me tobe a big girl. What the menstruation cycle was, its significance or implications were all left for me to figure on my own or through divine providence. I was elated to be considered a grown up but a lot of questions went unanswered.

Over the course of time, I learnt the nuances of menstruation but my questions were still unanswered. Many restrictions were suddenly imposed which I could never have fathomed before the onset of my menstrual cycle. Unwritten rules of restricted foods, movement and conversations were new to me. My carefree world would walk into hushed conversations without much explanation on why I couldn’t pray or eat pickle. It made me feel the need to hide the fact that I was menstruating. Speaking with boys about it was out of question.

While I blended in with this norm of my changing world, a lack of open conversation or adequate answers to my questions may have repressed my emotions, but it led me to counter most of what my family expected of me. A rebel, especially through the hormonal havoc that adolescence played, made me get into ugly arguments with the family frequently. Shutting myself to healthy conversations and conclusions to differences were drawn by the tantrums I threw.

It’s only now that I am learning to channelize my emotions and voicing my thoughts without the fear of being judged.  I am learning the need to engage in a healthy conversation without fear or shame, especially about a natural process such as periods. I hope more women can address this deep rooted fear and stop the shame associated with the cycle especially when we nurture the next generation into healthy adults.  It’s time we spoke. #LetsTalkPeriod

Kritika Sreedharan is a public health professional and an eccentric by temperament by her own assessment. A ferocious reader and a sporadic writer, Kritika is passionate about women issues and sexual and reproductive rights in India.

You too can break the silence around menstruation #LetsTalkPeriod. Purchase 1 menstrual cup & we will gift 1 on your behalf to a marginalized women, that takes care of her menstrual needs for 8-10 years. Or you can simply support the initiative through www.desiredwings.com/period

The post The pangs of a girl Growing up appeared first on Woman Endangered.

I am a regular middle class woman like you who got into arranged marriage at the age of 23 years simply because you must get married when you reach a certain age and when your parents say. After one year of customary honeymoon it was time to hit the next milestone – motherhood. And, with this began the 10 long and gruelling years of fighting infertility. Post 5 miscarriages, 3 molar pregnancies, 1 failed IVF, a brush with ovarian cancer and finally successful pregnancy on second IVF attempt- I stand here in front of you to openly talk about my Infertility journey.

Today, I have little AB baby to shower my love and enjoy the journey of motherhood but I can never forget the pain and suffering, the loneliness, the depression and the desperation, the feeling of being cut-off from society and the turmoil  suffered within, during this journey. It has made me who I am today. It is a very important part of my life and my personality.

It was not easy to open up my extremely personal story and discuss this taboo subject. I had fears – fears of being tagged and judged by the society. My tryst with infertility over a period of 10 years has convinced me that there are a lot of women out there who suffer in silence and one must reach out to them. There is an urgent need to reach upto them and tell them, “You are not alone”. And, eventually with lot of strength and support I managed to overcome all fears and hesitation and, started InfertilityDost this year. The website was officially launched in August 2016 though the idea and preparation had started way before. I first tested waters with a facebook group and the way women opened their hearts and spoke, convinced me further on the need for a bigger platform.

There are many layers of suffering through the process of   IVF – medical, physical, mental, psychological, financial, and social that leads to marital discord, falling into depression, even to the extent of getting suicidal, cutting oneself off socially, and a lot of trauma. There are cycles of hope and frustration. There are choices to make. There are tough decisions to take. I have been through all this. The path to IVF is no easy task. Only the brave can tread through. And, today through this blog I want to salute each and every couple who is or has been through IVF.

Academically, I am a JNU pass out (so feminism runs in my blood innately) and a professionally I have been involved in the e-commerce space for over 8 years now. I started as a content writer  picking odd content jobs from sites like odesk and Elance. Thereafter, I learnt the art and worked with brands like MakeMy Trip, Educomp and Policybazaar in their content marketing space with the last designation as Content Manager. I did climb up the ladder quickly! I realized I was passionate about blogging and how it can cause difference to people’s life. I have a travel blog, Travel By Karma where I share my tell-tales about offbeat destinations and experiences. Well, as God would want it I had a burning desire to do something about people suffering infertility for I had experienced the pain first-hand and then I had blogging skills. I found my true calling in combining this to create awareness and support for infertility.

Infertility Dost is a part of my life, it is my dream, my passion and my true calling. I wish to reach out to as many people as possible through this. And, if can reduce pain and suffering of even a few couples undergoing this journey, if I can make the society even a little bit sensitive, I will know that my life was worth living.

That’s my story.

Gitanjali Bannerjee, Founder Infertilitydost.com

Our Social Media Presence

Website: http://infertilitydost.com/

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/InfertilityDost/

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/infertilitydostindia/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/infertilitydost

Media Kit: http://infertilitydost.com/media-coverage

The post Beyond the labels of infertility, dost appeared first on Woman Endangered.

Don’t go out after the sun sets,
Neither should you go before
Don’t you know going out is a threat?
Beauty belongs at home.

Why is that He,
Gets more privileges than me.
Have I done any wrong?
I’m not just a musical note, I’m the whole song.

Water levels rising
Rebel arousing.
The time had come.
Mutiny had won.

Liberty till eternity.
Not a temporary equipoise.
She wasn’t stopping,
Until everybody heard her noise.

Noise, the society loathed.
Noise, it needed to be controlled.
Scared of the noise being too strong,
Hearing just a note, neglecting the whole song.

They suppressed the raging fire,
With arrows and bows.
She didn’t go without a fight
Left a sweet scent of freedom in every woman’s nose.

And just like Germania she wore her invisible crown of oak.
She was a hero,
Mistaken as a joke.

The post She is the hero, She is the song appeared first on Woman Endangered.

Perseverance against all odds– The lady was not for turning at any cost and never buckled under pressure. She knew from the start that it would be nearly impossible to defeat the liberal Labour Party, but she managed to gather a fan following with her riveting speeches. Though defeated, she persevered and tried as a Conservative candidate once more, only to be defeated once again. But Margaret never gave up and made it a point to persevering till victory was hers.

Aspire for academic brilliance-Margaret made the best of what was offered to her. She never let her humble background come in the way of her academic performance. She won a scholarship to Kesteven and Grantham Girls’ schools where she became the head girl. Her reports showed academic excellence and consistency as well as brilliance in extra-curricular activities. She went on to attend Oxford College. It always helps to have a sharp mind which can be used both in academics as well as outside it and Margaret boasted of a fine intellect that stood her in good stead both in school and in later years.

Dream big. You only get one life!— Even as a grocer’s daughter, Margaret always nurtured ambitions to excel in life. Margaret Thatcher left her indelible mark on British politics and transformed it. She struggled to free the individual from the management of the state. She was a good student and gained admission at Oxford University. She was politically active and served as President of the Conservative Association at the University. She harboured political ambitions and her life moved to follow her dreams. Set goals for yourselves and dream big. Never feel shy of pursuing a dream, no matter how impossible it might seem.

Live up to your words- “I fight on, I fight to win” asserted Margaret, the leader of the British Conservative Party, and win she did. She won three consecutive terms of office in two decades becoming the only British Prime Minister in the 20^th century to do so. Follow up on your words with actions and never backtrack. It’s important to live up to your words right till the end.

Don’t get intimidated—Thatcher had the makings of an influential politician from the start. She first stood for the Parliament in 1950 and became the Conservative contender for the Dartford Labour Party seat. She was the youngest representative and the only female candidate at the time. Despite being the youngest and the only female candidate she never lost her confidence and stood her ground amid seasoned politicians with the power of her personality. It’s important to be courageous even when you are all alone.

The post 5 traits to learn from the Iron Lady- Margaret Thatcher appeared first on Woman Endangered.